Jane,-----I too have to wear diapers and plastic pants.Due to a car accident when i was 10. being small for my age, my mother put me in toddler size diapers and plastic pants. At first it was cloth then after disposables came out she used them on me. Too help with your problem you might try to find some youth size Attends diapers, these worked well on me, with plastic pants for added protection. To handel the other problem about others finding out. I would just come out front and tell them about your wetting and need of help. You would be surprised how many people seem to understand. I had a room mate who wanted to change my diapers when i was in college too. He was very understanding. One day i pulled a muscle in my back and could not change my diaper. He saw i was having troubles, so he asked if i need help. Well after that he insisted on changing my diapers when ever i was wet and when i wanted him too. He said he used to change his brother's diapers back home. Now he checks me in the morning too se if i am wet, then he changes me. At lunch time i would meet him at the dorm and he would change me, and then after i arrived back in the room. Well i hope this info helps. Just email back to this response and i will email you back with my email address if you want too.