Your heart's in the right place, and your wife knows it. I feel she's just extremely upset or embarrassed by needing to wear diapers. What I'd suggest is for you to read up as much as you can about incontinence, and read the good advice from users on several forums. You'll quickly learn which type of posts to avoid. Then, sit her down for a quiet discussion, but don't try to touch her just yet. Tell her that if you had anything important to tell her, you would do so, and that you hope she feels the same way. Then ask her if there's a reason she doesn't want you to touch her. And give her every opportunity to bring the subject of diapers to the surface. Please don't force the issue, as it seems like she's already hyper about this. And, remind her again that you love her and wouldn't ever leave her. If she doesn't bring out the subject of diapers, you might do so yourself, by saying you would never leave her, for sick, or for poor, etc., and then throw in, not even for diapers...