Reply from Jeffrey, Age 57 - 3/21/04 - IP#:   adultbb-c1793

Jennifer, The first question that needs to be asked is whether your husband has been a bedwetter all his life or whether he started wetting again after being dry at night for several years. If it is the latter, then you definitely need to convince him to see a doctor. Something caused his bedwetting to start up, and he should be checked out by a doctor to find out what happened. If he as always been a bedwetter, then it not a recent medical problem, but even so, a visit to the doctor would still be a good idea. But whether he is willing to see a doctor or not, he needs to realize that he is being inconsiderate of you. There are many adult bedwetters (more than most people realize), and just because it is embarrassing for your husband doesn't give him a right to think only of himself. I would suggest not being critical of him -- that would only prevent the two of you from being able to talk openly about it. He needs your moral support, understanding, and encouragement, but he also needs to know that he should think about you too. There are plastic and rubber mattress covers, and the first thing you should do is get one. If your husband has never tried an alarm conditioning system, that might be worth a try. You didn't say whether you and your husband share the same bed. If it is important for both of you to be able to do so, then your husband needs to be convinced that you have a right to sleep in a dry bed. He would find that if he agreed to wear protection, he would sleep better at night, and he would protect both you and the bed. He owes you that. He can't help wetting in his sleep, but he can accept responsibility for managing his bedwetting. Good luck in your effort to convince him of that.