Reply from adam, Age 26 - 3/29/04 - IP#:   adultbb-c1806

Jennifer, First, regarding getting the odor out of the mattress -- a little vinegar or lemon juice should do it. The odor is caused by ammonia, which is a base, so anything weakly acidic should do the trick without damaging the mattress. If you haven't done so already, you might consider putting a waterproof mattress cover on your bed at least for the time being. This could be a simple plastic sheet, but doesn't have to be -- I found a waterproof pad at Wal-mart for around $40 that looks and feels like a regular mattress pad on the outside but has a waterproof layer inside it. Secondly, regarding your husband -- obviously you know that this is an embarrassing thing for him, and while it is true that doctors see this sort of thing all the time, it will still be iuncredibly hard for him to bring this up. A couple of things to consider before you decide how hard to push him: (1) Is the problem of recent origin, or has he had it off and on throughout his adult life? If it just started recently, you should push him hard to go because the cause may well be a bladder infection, which is easily curable if treated but could end up seriously damaging his bladder and kidneys if left alone. If he has wet occasionally all his life, there is probably nothing seriously wrong with him other than a somewhat weak bladder and a sound sleep pattern, although a doctor may (or may not) still be able to help this with meds and/or a wetting alarm. (2) How seriously is this affecting your marriage and/or love life? You are a very understanding woman to stay with him and want to support him through this, but if it is getting really hard on you then you shouldn't hsve to bear the burden alone. Suggest to him that if you are willing to make the sacrifice of cleaning up wet sheets and sleeping with him in a wet bed without complaining, then he can make the sacrifice for you of at least one appointment with the doctor. I hope this is helpful, and that things will work out for you and your husband. If you want to talk more, or if your husband would feel more comfortable talking to another guy who has dealt with the same problem, either or both of you can feel free to e-mail me at