Valerie, I will most likely catch some flack from a lot of the folks that read this as they know me from another bed wetting forum. The depend product is good. It is thin and does not show under regular clothing in most cases. The problem with the depends is that when it becomes wet it swells quite a bit and become pretty puffy. The Molicare is by far the best for long term wearing but can become very heavy and requires support from a mesh pant or plastic pant to hold them up. The Abena is really good too but as with the Molicare a second pant may be a good idea and both are very expensive. I would recomend the Abena or Molicare for overnite use at home or for times when you can't change for a long time like on a long trip. For an all around fair adult diaper the Assurance overnight is adequate if you can change every two to three hours. You can get them at any Walmart and they are less than nine dollars a pack. I was forced into a drastic change in life style due to an auto accident and can relate to your concerns. It takes a while to to settle on what makes you feel comfortable with your situation, but you will. Best wishes.