I don't know what to say except for that it is easier to go with the flow, so to speak. The phrase 'this, like all things, will pass,' comes to mind. You have to chin up, be strong, and be proud of who you are. I myself have been incontinent for my lifetime. Now, I've finally been able to tell my friends and I even have an 'almost fiancee' who knows and loves me anyway. I do kegels as well to make sure that if I have a chance of overcoming this, I will do so. It's a matter of being strong and doing everything that you can to deal with the situation. Cee.