Reply from James, Age 51 - 6/22/04 - IP#:   adultbb-c1995

"should not have to put up with that at his age". "if my boys can become dry, why cannot my husband". Those comments indicate that you view incontinence as an age thing that can be controlled by will-power. Nothing could be more wrong. Your husband has no control over his "problem". There are many, many, causes. He should go to the doctor and have it checked, and then decide on an appropriate course of action. I have been an occasional bedwetter most of my life. As I got older it became more frequent, and a few years ago I started "dribbling" during the day. I wear a shield during the day, and a diaper and plastic pants at night. It was odd at first, and I felt almost juvenile going to bed in diapers and plastic pants, but once you get past the psychological barrier, it is not a big deal. I used to go to bed hoping that I would not have an accident. It was always on my mind. Now I do not worry about it, as I am wearing protection. My wife is very supportive. Same during the day. Even before I started dribbling, I had to be careful not to laugh too hard, or get over-excited, as I would wet my pants. Now I enjoy daily life much more relaxed, as I am discreetly protected. I looked at the drugs, but after reading the side effects, decided against them. I have Sleep Apnea and snore heavily. Plus I was overweight by about 25 lbs. I found that my daytime dribbling was largely weight related, and it has considerably reduced since I lost the 25 lbs. I am now 185lbs. I do have weak bladder control, so the pressure of extra weight did not help. So, my advice, accept the problem and deal with it. Why is he wetting? Sleep disorder, physical disorder, stress, so many causes. Find the protection that best suits his lifestyle and comfort. Next, see a doctor to determine the probable cause. Decide if the benefits of the drugs outweigh the side effects. Be supportive. Don't compare him to the kids. He is not an overgrown kid. He has a medical condition, probably treatable, perhaps not. Good Luck Lastly, cloth and plastic pants are a lot cheaper than disposables.