Reply from Gary, Child's Age 9 - 5/7/03 - IP#: 63.90.92.61

Annie, You said your daughter just started to wet in the last week. Is this a nightime thing or is she wetting in the daytime? You stated that you have had her to see a Doctor, was this a family physician or a specialist such as a urologist? I would suggest that you give your daughter the utmost support during this time. It is difficult for a child her age to cope with the fact that she can not control her wetting. Sit down and talk with her and assure her her that you love and care for her and think no different of her than you did a week ago before she started wetting. Children need that reassurance from their parent(s). I'm sure your daughter may feel isolated with this matter and that she is the ONLY child who wets uncontrollably. Let her know that there are millions of children and adults for that matter across the nation that have this trouble. Take her to the Goodnites website and let her see for herself that there are many children her age who wet. I cannot stress enough the importance of you supporting her in this matter. Now, as to how to handle this matter. No one, not even myself can tell you which approach is best to handle the situation as all children are diffrent and will accept diffrent approaches. You will need to set down with her and ask how she would like to control this. No child likes to wake up in a cold, wet, smelly bed or uncontrollably wet themself during the day. There are several approaches to take, one is she can change her clothes and take off the bedding at night when she wets and then go back to sleep. You can put a plastic sheet on the bed to protect the mattress. Absorbent products may be used, however I suggest that you talk this over with her before purchasing any as most children feel as if a diaper classifies them as a baby again. Explain that absorbant products will protect the bedding and she won't be waking up in a wet bed, also let her see the aisles at the store where adult absorbant products are kept so she will know she is not alone. Various manufactures market pull on type absorbant underwear that is undetectable under clothing. If you purchase absorbant products try to be discreet in their purchase and store them in a place at the house where her friends will not find them. The utmost important thing here is to reassure her, keep this matter a family thing in which not everybody knows she has a wetting problem, and include her in on the decision making as to handle the situation so she may feel more comfortable. As for punishing her, It is my opinion that it is no good. If the child is uncontrollably wetting she can't help it and the embarrassment of not being able to control her wetting is enough for her to deal with without bein punished on the side. If this continues I would suggest you go get a second opinion with a pediatrician or urologist who can perform more specific tests to see what is going on. Alot of children have no nighttime bladder control that is not related to a specific injury and/or illness and they usually end up out groing it. I wish you, your daughter and family the best in this matter and hope it is nothing serious.