DEAR MARY JANE, Sorry to hear about your 9 year old daughter having problems! 1st of all Most shopping precincts or as in america you call them MALLS would have a diabled toilet most have changing tables for children in the stall area for the handicapped as regards the sleep over i would suggest pullups and plastic pants in case of leaks and possibly a careing notification to the host parent assuring her that they wont have an accident and to kindly ask that she kindly ask that your daughter use the bathroom where she can put the pullup and plastic pants on. How does your daughter react to having a diaper on? HOPE THIS IS OF HELP TO YOU!