Your son’s bedwetting after a growth spurt is not unusual, it happens to lots of kids during puberty and adolescence. And it’s also understandable that he doesn’t want to go on sleepovers because his friends will find out about his bedwetting. A bladder that is too small for his body means that he can’t make it through the night without wetting at least once and maybe twice. He may also need to go more often during the day. Have you tried DDAVP (desmopressin)? That works for most people but not everyone. It is taken just before bedtime and slows kidney output for about 6 hours, which lets most people make it through the night without wetting. You may have to go to a urologist to get it if his regular doctor won’t prescribe it. Wetting a diaper before bedtime can cause two problems: he may need a change before bed, costing an extra diaper (which are not cheap), or wetting the same diaper two or three times increases the chances it will leak, so the sheets will need to be washed. You might insist that he not put his diaper on until he is actually going to bed; he can wear boxer shorts or something else if he wants to stay up after his shower. Unless he wears a pull-up diaper (like Goodnights) it is difficult to use the bathroom after the diaper is taped on, and there is a tendency to just use the diaper. That is not necessarily a fetish, just laziness, but you could watch for signs that a fetish is developing, such as putting one on as soon as he comes home from school or not taking it off when he gets up (or just sitting around in a diaper all day) on weekends.