My mother told me that I always had to make more trips to the bathroom than the others. Often when we would be away from home she would put a diaper on me for convenience. She said I would dance around for few seconds then it was over. I can remember one time when I was 5 we were in the store and I felt the need to go. I was trying to hold and it just released it self. I remember felling my self going for a few seconds feeling a little wetness and not much else so I must have been warring a diaper. I was what you would call a primary bed-wetter I was never able to stay dry at night. As a young child till 8 ½ years old I wore a diaper at night a little late but not unheard of. I need to say that I was the oldest of 3 at that time the youngest still in diapers. We had no washer dryer in our apartment my mother decided that by keeping me diapers at night she would not have to wash my bedding every day. I don’t think under the circumstances it weird or unreasonable for me to ware a diaper for bed. My mother simply tried the best with what we had. Mother believed that after a child was trained they would soon become dry at night on their own. If they were still wetting at 3 ½ or 4 there was a little trick she had heard of. The idea is the can teach a child to hold better by denying the last bathroom visit at bedtime. A 3 ½ or 4 year old who is well trained in the daytime will hold as long as they can till they have a little accident in their diaper and fall asleep. No harm at that age but at 8 years it gets alittle more complicated. I can clearly rember a night around my eighth birth day I seem to have an ability for very clear memeruiories of several childhood experiences. I don’t if it is a gift or a curse. Somehow my routine at 8 was the same as at 3. If I had to go at bedtime Mom always said to lie down and go to sleep and I wouldn’t have to go any more. That had been my routine since I was IST trained. And it always worked I would fall asleep relax. I assume that some time soon after I was asleep nature would simply run its course and I would sleep through the night never knowing I had wet. I never gave it much thought just the way it had always been. At 8-years-old you are more a where your being more aware of your body and senses. One night I ended up being trapped by the system in place. It was time for bed and we were playing we had been in our pajamas let’s say about an hour. We had company that night. When we got in to bed I had to go to the bathroom but mom said just go to sleep and I wouldn’t need to go anymore so I got in bed. Shortly After that I don’t know how long it was getting more urgent. so I called to mom asked to go to the bathroom again. She told me to laydown close my eyes and reassured me I would go to sleep and it would be ok. Just a few minutes latter and it was getting worse so I got up and told her I needed to go real bad as standing there with my leg crossed and holding. She said that’s just too bad. Stephanie it’s an hour past your bedtime now go to sleep or you’re going to get a spanking. So I got back in bed. I could hear them talking my Aunt said why don’t let her go? Mom said its alright she has a diaper on she needs to learn to hold it at night. She will just cross her legs and wiggle around hold for a minute or two till she wets her diaper then fall asleep. I heard everyone laugh a little. At the age of 8 it had been a lifetime since I had had a daytime accident and even though I wet every night I did that in my sleep unaware. I don’t ever remember wetting before I fell asleep. Strangely enough I am the type of girl who doesn’t like the feeling of being wet or anything sticky or icky on my skin. I would always wipe very carefully so I didn’t feel wet. I am also very sensitive to any thing demeaning and at that age wetting accidents are very demeaning. So there is no way I am going down without a fight. Mom knows my situation but we are still using the routine set for me when I was three And that system is based in the idea that I will simply fidget around a little and wet then fall asleep. Mom only knows that I am wet every morning so I don’t have any problem with wetting. I am determined that I am not going to wet like baby. Nature is going to run it’s coarse very methodically. I can still remember lying in bed until it let go. I still remember what it felt like becoming wet the feel of the wet diaper on my skin in my most personal privet areas. I still remember thinking everyone knows I am wetting my diaper like a baby. That happened 17 years ago and I still get a creepy feeling when I think about it. My question is this: If the reason for intervening in this not uncommon childhood condition is self-esteem WHAT AM I MISSING HERE! PS If my mother had ever tried to put a diaper on me at 13 years They would have had to carry her out.