Stephanie: I am responding to your circumstances because I do not agree with your reasoning. A few months back, I responded to a mom, whatever the case was about, to not pander her child. It does not matter what the age of child is and I am firm on this point. And this is exactly what you seem to be doing day-in and day-out with your 9yo. It is nice of you to set aside her incidents and clean them up and I also assume to give some attention to your daughter. Now, I will not further this point, as you did not ask about it. But as to the matter of the California trip on plane and being away from home for an extended time frame, you do then begin to "pander" your little girl. You say she hates the idea of using a diaper and so you consider giving her what she doesn't want at the very time you are coming upon circumstances where your intuition is telling you that some other solution might be in order. If you want someone to advise you and ease your mind, take the responses of the others to your post. But more than that, I hope you will accept this response, not as being critical, but to also advise you to take charge of such things and, in this case, to counsel your 9yo daughter that YOU and daddy have decided how to handle the situation, and that she will have the benefit of OR must do as she is told towards following your instructions. Should you decide that a diaper and pants are in order, DO share with her the practical issue and let her understand that this will be the best for all concerned. I will say in closing that you and daughter must "be prepared" for events that may happen, given the circumstances, and she in particular will feel bad and embarrassed upon any predicament that arises. Should you and daddy cave-in to your child, you, of course, will have to deal with any unpleasantries which might come along. This is as close as I am qualified to come towards giving you a direct answer to your concern in your post and hope you will give it your consideration towards a pleasant journey. Regards......mr j