Contrary to what your husband believes, if a full bladder doesn’t wake a person up, then wet sheets probably won’t either; and wet sheets or underwear don’t feel cold and wet unless the person moves around so the wet areas are exposed to air. Bedwetting is considered by most doctors to be more of a sleep disorder than a bladder control problem and the afflicted person just doesn't respond to stimulus while asleep. Bedwetting is far more common among children with ADHD than among other children (as many as 50% of children with ADHD are bedwetters), and children with ADHD often have daytime accidents as well. The reason is that they have difficulty staying focused on one task, and while they might recognize the full bladder signal, their brain moves on to something else before they take any action on it. The same thing occurs during sleep; if the signal does reach the brain it does not cause the child to wake up and go to the bathroom. That does not mean that ADHD should be suspected just because he is a bedwetter, but given behavioral and academic problems it definitely should be considered. It sounds like your stepson needs help, and if his dad won’t do anything, then you need to decide how far you can go without causing other marital problems. You might contact one of his teachers or the guidance counselor at his school. They are often willing to work with any family member, even a stepparent, who is willing to help a child with problems. Maybe they could recommend to his dad that he be tested for ADHD. You could also try your stepson’s doctor. Even though you can’t take him there yourself, you could make the doctor aware of the problem and he could bring it up the next time the boy is in for any reason. The last suggestion would be your stepson’s mother. Divorced parents often do work together on child welfare issues and if she still has a role in his life, she might have him tested or at least recommend that he be tested.