my son has EXACTLY the same problem. i make him sit on the toilet now 1 hr per day (he REFUSES to go there, tries everything known to man to get OUT of the bathroom, but yet will go right outside and blatantly go in his pants, as he did two times yesterday). i now make him wash out his own underwear in the tub and after he is done with that, i make him clean out the bathtub. i'm so tired of dealing with this i cannot see straight. yes, go ahead and gripe at me if you will but i am an only parent and it totally ruins my day AND his day (because he has to be punished and i have to do it). at first this worked but i fear it is losing its effect and things have gone from "i can't go" to "i don't want to". he will "store it up" for a week and daycare and school will NOT help me out by curtailing playground activities unless he goes potty first. they refuse to help even though my child is with them 11 hours a day as opposed to my 2 or 3 (if that). in the past it has been painful for my son (this started about 2 yrs ago at this point). i am at my wit's end. all i get done is clean up after him - every evening is a fight and a huge drama. his BM gets everywhere in the bathroom from either inadvertently wiping his underwear on the toilet while taking down pants, or him literally digging at his rear end with his finger (and then of course he has to wipe that somewhere - but he's gotten better about that recently). he tries to stick toilet paper up his rear end (sounds funny but it's not) like he's trying to block it. the child is 6 and is in 1st grade this year. i ask him "doesn't it hurt your feelings when your friends tell you that you stink or they won't play with you because you stink?" he says no that he doesn't care. i have tried rewards, punishments, paddlings (my hands are weak from arthritis and carpal tunnel syndrome so i cannot use my hand to spank), revoking of privileges, you name it. nothing works. it is ruining any time i have with him and making me angry and frustrated beyond words (can you tell?!)! i do not want the child to become dependent on laxatives for the rest of his life, but that is where this seems to be going. help!