TO THE USERS OF WETBUSTERS.COM
   

The interactive areas of the Wetbusters.com site have been disabled.  When Wetbusters was created in 1999, its mission was to help kids to stop wetting the bed.  Wetbusters instead has become a forum for kids and adults who wear diapers.  Nearly all of the kids who use the site seem to wear diapers, and parents who use the site talk primarily about diapers in regard to their kids who wet.  This is in spite of the fact that 85% of pediatricians recommend AGAINST using diapers for bedwetting, believing that diapers "give the wrong message, that it is okay to wet at night and not get up and use the toilet, which tends to prolong wetting." (Seminar on Bedwetting, American Academy of Pediatrics, 2003).  Kids and parents who have used Wetbusters (approximately 60,000 users per month) have shown little interest in alarms, medications, wake up training, or bladder exercises for dealing with bedwetting... their interest is almost entirely about diapers.  The bulletin board postings are nearly all about diapers, and the conversations in the chat rooms are typically "Do you (or your child) wear diapers?  What kind?"  Kids who are interested in alarms, for example, have been driven out of the chat rooms and have not been supported on the bulletin boards.

There is also an enormous and very aggressive "diaper lover" (DL) and "teen baby" (TB) community (try searching on those terms with the Google search engine).  It has been claimed that DL's and TB's have taken over Wetbusters.com.  It has been claimed also that these DL's and TB's are adults posing as kids.  But if one assumes that they are adults, at what age did the diaper attraction start?  It is impossible to keep the diaper lovers out.  It is, however, not not just the diaper lovers who render the site impossible to run, but the fact that "true" bedwetters also appear to embrace diapers.  It is difficult to discern the true bedwetters from the diaper lovers.  

In order to be "cured" of bedwetting a child must awaken at night, either by an alarm or by the sensation of a full bladder.  The child then gets up and uses the toilet.  Over time the child learns to hold his/her urine at night and either sleeps through the night or gets up and use the toilet, i.e. is "cured".  But a poll on our site revealed that most kids would rather sleep and wet in a diaper, than get up at night and use the toilet.  And parents support this use of diapers, stating that is "abuse" to wake their kids in the night.  The prevailing attitude is "Just use diapers until he/she 'grows' out of it."  Wetbusters was not created simply to  support kids in diapers.

Wetbusters does not have the resources to moderate every message and reply on the bulletin boards and filter out the diaper lover posts, which are difficult to distinguish from the true bedwetter posts, as nearly all posts have to do with diapers.  We have tried to automatically block diaper words on the bulletin boards and in the chat rooms, but diaper users quickly find ways around the blocks.  Even if Wetbusters did have the resources to fully moderate the boards and chat rooms, providing simply a forum for diaper users was never the site's purpose.  Such a diaper forum may even perpetuate diaper use and may foster TB's and DL's.   

As nearly all of the kids and adults who use the site are interested only in diapers, they do not need a site such as Wetbusters.  We are sorry for those with true incontinence who benefit from the forums, but incontinence was not the mission of Wetbusters.  Note the term "busters" in the name - to stop wetting.

We deeply regret that Wetbusters did not provide the service for which it was intended - curing kids of bedwetting.  Thank you for your support.

Wetbusters management

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 Comments submitted:

Hi, I'm Sam, and I, and many others depended on your chat-room to solve our problems with bedwetting. I'm not here to complain. I just think that the reason for shutting it down was questionable. Diapers are a major part of bedwetting, and sometimes it is even important to talk about them. We don't discuss brand names or things like that, but to ban the word "wear" is a little ridiculous to me. Some of these children that use your chat-room depend on the others there to help them, it's a place to come if their parents are being abusive or if they come home from school after being teased, the room gives them hope and makes them happier about themselves.
For some, it's all they have. So why take that away? I use the chat-room often as well, and I know by experience that no one talks continuously about diapers. Please reconsider, if your here to help us, bring it back.

Thank you for reading,
-Sam 14 
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I was wondering why the Big Kids Express Chat and the message boards
have been shut down. The chat and the message boards provide a link
between kids who share the problems and they let them know that they are not
alone. i understand the issue the site has been having with teen babys
and diaper lovers but this can be solved simply by clicking the ignore
button on the chat. And the message boards can be moderated. Please,
re-open them. This site has helped so many people and has the ability to
continue to do so.

Thank you.
Sarah, Age 15

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good for you! diapers are definatly the wrong way to go on bedwetting, especially for older kids.it's demorilising and embarrising to wear diapers at night. what you should do is get a special plastic sheet, drink less in the evening and go to the toilet before you go to bed and if you get the slightest feeling of you needing the toilet just go. I am 13 and had been bedwetting for ages in the predecesing years and i just did what my guidence is and then stopped when i was 11! (few!) it was difficult but having diapers would just make the problem carry on and more difficult to stop waking up with wet sheets pushes you to stop and there you go!

although bedwetting is generally medical and it's just that your bladder is growing slower than the rest of your body causing incontinuency! (your bladder has the bodaly age of half your real age) -

Simon, age 13
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i agree with you on that statment,, and i am upseat on the fact you have shut that part down, like i say to my friends,, one or two kids will spoil it for the rest, the rest will try to seak revenge. i did this with my web site, it was hard but it worked.. disble the chat room and then re able it with out notice or a i back notice,,

sorry it had to end this way.. i havent ben on in almost a month,, so i dont know when you shut the site, well i shoudl say,, that part down,, i admit i do use diapers, and my brothers do to,, and we got to comfy with just wetting and changing in morning, we said to are selves, this aint going to cure us, so now we get up and go,, dont even use diapers at night much any more,, just on thos of late night or when we drink a lot, for ex.,. 4th of july party, b days etc

ps,, do you plan on re openign it,, or will i have to find a nother chat site?

TK, age 15
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I would like to know what happened to the adult chat room? I enjoyed the chats that I had with other bedwetters. Will it be back soon? (I hope)

Art, adult bedwetter
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hello

I like go to your website cause I talk to others with the same kind of weting problem. There were some weirdos that would come in there but they were always easy to tell who they were. They always asked the same questions. I wanted to tell you I think the website was a good place to talk to other and that is something I dont do any place else. I think it was a place that no one knew you and could not tell any friends you had a weting problem. I do wear diapers all the time I have nerve damage to my bladder. I dont like to wear them but I rather have a diaper then wet pants all the time. I know there are others with the same problem as me and some are real bed wetters. I never talk to anyone that had a real wetting problem that like to wear diapers so maybe the website was a good place for us to talk to other with the weting problems. All the weirdos go away anyway when you don't talk to them. 

Chris, Age - teen
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Whomever this may concern;
Hello, my name is Cathy.

While I may tend to agree on some of your points, your overall actions are going to hurt many children who have found your site an excellent place to discuss their frustrations with others. I realize that TBs and DLs are attracted to chats and boards of this nature, but i believe it is the parents' responsibility to monitor their children's activities and determined what should and should not be censored! Also, in discussing their problems, the following words are essential to express feelings and points of view: wet, wear, diaper, etc. Honestly, you may yet find yourself in legal hot water over that action alone.

My son is 11 years old and his problems have improved much in just this past year. In my opinion, this is due, in part, to the many friends he has made in your chatrooms. While TBs and DLs have a host of sites available to them, where can children now go who came to your site in good faith seeking help? How did you determine that nearly every user is concerned over diapers? Nonsense! Perhaps, if you did have the time to monitor your chatrooms, you might have discovered that many of the younger children meet early in the mornig and they discuss a great many things which have nothing to do with diapers. And they are the ones who must suffer because, it seems, you have decided that punishing the good as well as the bad is acceptable. Is this all that freedom of speech in America means to you? For anything to succeed and prosper, a fair amount of effort and attention is required: this includes message boards and chatrooms.

I also disagree with some of the medical opinions you have stated as if they were assured. The reason western medicine (and law) is termed a practice is because much of it is theoretical; it is not an exact science. If you had researched this a bit further you would have found professions who also disagree with many of their own associates. I sincerely hope my comments may help you to reconsider.

Cathy -Parent
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I am disappointed in your decision to close the adult chat room. I agree that their are people who don't belong there, but as a life-long bedwetter, I have tried and failed to stop bedwetting with meds and alarms. My doctor has left it up to me on how to manage this problem, and I chose to use diapers and plastic pants. I have met some great people in this chat room, so please reconsider your decision.

Art, adult bedwetter
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I was saddened by your message. I am a true bedwetter at the age of 48. Not a diaper lover or adult baby - terms I only became aware of as I searched the ineternet for support and to support those afflicted with this problem; of any age! I still look for advice and new ways to possibly cure myself, and appreciated the spirit with which the forum was created. Diaper are just a by-product of the problem - never a solution!

Thanks so much for trying...

btw, my screenname (mommy8XXXX) was given by my now 18 yr old, however, I had no idea it would have so many alternative meanings!!!!

-Adult bedwetter
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Dear sir I am a frequent vistor to your website parents forumand also have gone on to the childrens site!.As a parent of 3 children and also A bed wetter myself as a child up until aged 17 I feel that it is important that children and parents need reasurance as bedwetting is a ntural phenomenon and that eventually it will fizzle out unless there is something physically wrongI totally agree with your asumptions to close the Chat forums as from my experience on the forums and chat rooms Dealing with parents views .1. They seem all too ready just to stick a nappy on their child because it is more convenient and that the parents dont have to wake up in the middle of the night to change sheets my eldest boy was 14 when he stopped wetting the bed we for 14 yrs after checking with our gp and trying alarms and meds came to the conclusion that it was not working so we weould wake him up in the middle of the night changing his sheet bif nesseccary and then going back to bed eventually he got the idea or his body got the idea that he should wake up in the night and go to the Toilet!. all too often parents take the easy way out!.. and it frustraits me as a parent that they should do this I only come on for Moral supportas I know that bedwetting can be demoralising and children can get low self esteem through it and that i am only trying to pass on my thoughts to help them bolster ther self esteem!. as I have gone through this my self and with my family but do agree with your decition! thank you for yourendeavers in having this forum facility without it those children who do have a genuine problem would be lost .
Yours sincerely,
Tom S - Parent

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i thout tha whole point of this site was ta help kids?? i dont care about tha MB cause lotsa those posts were from wierdos but i made frends in tha chats with probs like i got.. tha preverts all went somwhere else but i guees ill never talk to my frends agan.. so instead of havein somebody watch tha chatrooms or kick out tha losers u had ta ruin a good thing for kids that needed ur help.. i hope ur happy now.. 

Anthony - teen
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I am a bit disappointed in your site for stopping adults and children from talking about problems with their bedwetting. I've tried numerous ways to combat my bedwetting but unfortunatly it seems that due to my autism I am so constantly worked up over a variety of things that I just can't manage to stay dry, I've tried various medications, I keep asking the doctor about alarms but am just getting told that they wouldn't work. If you think that by closing this site down though you are stopping the promotion of nappy/diaper use in kids and adults with bedwetting problems unfortunatly this is causing totally the opposite as the alternative to your site is the DryNites and GoodNites sites, both run by Kimberley Clark (who make diapers), so the last thing they want is to discourage kids from using diapers (I even remember once I wrote to them to inform them that they're GoodNites which are pull up style were big enough to be worn by adults and they sent me a load of advertising rubbish about the Tena range that are even more like diapers (as they have tapers and don't go on like normal underwear) than GoodNites.

Thank you anyway for giving kids and adult bedwetters a safe and friendly location to chat to other people to help them with they're bedwetting, hopefully in the future you'll reconsider the message boards again, and also if this goes on the website all kids and adults who are bedwetters, don't be embarressed and miss camping trips and sleepovers just 'cos you wet the bed. Don't worry about it, most adults are very understanding towards the problem (especially in major groups such as the scouts) and they all have ways to deal with the problem discreetly. So get out there and live life to the full and if you have an accident at night you'll probably find that someone else there also has had an accident too.

Darren

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